Step 3

Define The Barriers Holding You Back

Part of being human is having inherent fears. The problem is many of our fears are irrational yet debilitating when it comes to chasing our goals and dreams. Fear is important for many aspects of life but in most cases it's a survival mechanism from generations past. Today our fears show up in forms of social anxiety, fear of failure, fear of the unknown such as personal development and change, often including fear of success, fear of family and friendship dynamics changing, fear of losing control, fear of being controlled, fear of going broke, and many others.


Joy is found in overcoming a barrier standing between you and your dream. Fear is stopping you from trying.


Michael Jordan said it like this, “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying again.” Some people are afraid to fail while others, like Michael, are more worried about how they will feel about themselves if they don't try. I think it's obvious which type of attitude brings more success and joy, yet the stories we often tell ourselves are very powerful and difficult to overcome. You must step into the fear, go through the door and when you look back on the trial that once held you down, you'll both smile with joy and giggle from surprise, because the big bad beast wasn't anywhere near as big and bad as you made it out to be.


The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.


1) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2) I wish I didn’t work so hard – I missed my children’s youth and my partner’s companionship.
3) I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5) I wish that I had let myself be happier.
At first it seems logical to hide your weakness from the world and then you'll be comfortable in your own skin, but actually the opposite is true. When you expose your weakness along with the rest of you, you realize that most of the world either doesn't care at all or they really connect with your struggles and will appreciate your courage. They will look up to you for advice and support you in your journey. You find that you become more comfortable with yourself as you go through the fear and come out courageous and confident on the other side.

Recommended Reading

The-Daring-WayDaring Greatly by Brene Brown

“Go ahead, fall down, the world looks different from the ground." – Oprah Winfrey

"Tough times don't last, tough people do." - Floyd Mayweather.